The House of Enchantments (and these are a few of my favorite things)

Yesterday, I launched my blog in my native French. I glossed over what led me to this gem of a house, what seduces me about it, and my reclaiming of a name, because I don't officially have a middle name, which recurringly filled me with an unpleasant sense of incompleteness every time I had to leave that section blank in the countless forms I filled out in my life. Over a year ago, during one of my countless moves (of papers, of life chaos), I rediscovered that Marie appeared in my marriage certificate. I unearthed and undusted Marie, which is the closest I could find to a middle name. I liked its significance so much ("of the sea", and also because of the Maries in the life of a man we cannot not admire, and who all embodied love and compassion, and two beloved aunts, 3 cousins and a friend), I incorporated it in my identity (at the conclusion of a divorce, some women shed their married name. In my case, I had kept my original last name, and instead I am adding one, maybe also as an unconscious attempt to counteract all the painful losses inherent to a separation). And not only did I add Marie, but I added letters to it, to include the first initial of each of my three beloved sons. Mariekya. 

Our name tells a story about our origins, our ancestry, our past. I wanted my name to also tell a story about the future, a bright one. The hope for my children, who have a beautiful soul, an incredible potential and who inspire me everyday to become more me.

Just like my writings are full of my sons, my home is full of their buoyancy. I cherish their drawings. I think of the smell of rosemary on their hair after they walk near a bush whenever I turn on the sprinklers to water the beautiful nature surrounding my home. I can hear their enthusiastic comments, their sense of awe, I can see the simple joys around me with their eyes and it fills me with gratitude.

I like to sit, meditate and read, and love this time of year when I can leave a book outside that patiently waits for my next meditative pause.

I enjoyed my first walk in my new neighborhood this morning, admiring the beautiful trees and even a grey fox swiftly passing by, a good reminder of the qualities it symbolizes (skill, agility, mysticism). In a book I really like called "Power Animals", by Lori Morrison, I rediscovered that one of its powers is "brilliance in clearing the footsteps of the past". So fitting for me ! Such encounters force me to pause and remind myself of our interconnectedness with all things.

Books arranged more or less thematically in my house are also a source of comfort, stacked into different piles: "to read" or "to read over and over whenever there is time", as gentle walls of a fortress that might become a necessary refuge in times of nonsense.

The skylights, the colorful stones that invite to improvise a treasure hunt, the two fireplaces, the oddly-shaped windows, the curtain of beads, my reading nook I repainted red, tools that belonged to my grandfather and two great-grandfathers, my grandmother's handmade quilt, the Tiffany lamp my boyfriend gave me, these are a few of my favorite things.

And last (for now) but not least, as I was soaking in my tub for the first time last night, happy as a queen (assuming a queen can experience happiness), I started singing. And it struck me: my bathroom is a cathedral ! The acoustics were so amazing, even I liked the sound of my voice, for once. Or was it the song itself, its lyrics that resonate so deeply, the narrative behind me taking the leap and moving to a different zip code.

The song is Flowers, by Miley Cyrus. It gave me shivers even before I paid attention to the words. 

I am Caroline Mariekya. I bring my piece to this big puzzle of collective wisdom we all contribute to as a mother, a physician, a poet, a learner, a citizen of the world. And I think I am expanding, like we are all yearning to do. From the inside out.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me in my Âme Sweet Âme.