Mer rime avec mère (Water rhymes with mother)

Just like towards many other beneficial things in life (whether it is otherness, beauty or love), I was terrified of water. Or at least that is how I interpret the fact that it took me reaching 8 years old and my grandmother's reassuring guidance to learn how to swim. Now I can't wait for the sight of a lake I can jump in or the coastline for good waves for boogie boarding.

Our planet, just like our bodies, is predominantly made of water. I grew up in a land of many lakes. Most people with a house had lawns that necessitated a ton of water to maintain. Having a home in California, especially with a pool, with beautiful, drought-resistant landscaping, forces me to be more mindful about water usage. A few years ago, my sons were into gardening. For a while, we would use a bucket in the shower to fill until it got to the right temperature so we could use it for the plants. Since it takes over 90 seconds for my shower to warm up, I decided to do this. As I carry a heavy bucket to water my potted bamboo plants outside, I am not only reminded of my children but all these women and girls in Africa who carry water on their head, sometimes in old gasoline containers. Water is vital. In some many places of the world still, and at least 25 years ago in Mali, women were carrying the burden of life, literally and metaphorically. The gender gap is not zero, not even in many supposedly "developed" nations... Interestingly, men have a higher carbon footprint than women. Yet, people who do the cleaning-up behind the scenes (like hotels) are still predominantly female. I don't mean to point fingers. I think it reflects our patriarchal structures. We urgently need to reverse that. It is all about ownership. If we all worked proportionately to our skills and potential, made a concerted effort to preserve resources, and protected what we use by acknowledging where it comes from, not taking anything for granted, our planet and our general wellbeing would be in better shape. Once we take ownership of our lifestyle and realize that we are tenants of the earth that do not belong to us, where we are just passing, we become more mindful. I am going through a renewed awareness process with water. I think about where it comes from, just like Thich Nhat Hanh in his gem of a book Peace is Every Step, invites us to practice mindfulness through the act of reading a book for instance, by visualizing the origins of its pages, the paper, how it came from a tree, and what did it take for a tree to grow... It changes our perspective on everything and makes us see and respect the sacred around us. We should do the same for what we eat, and this way we would reduce our meat consumption if we could see the torture many cows, sheep, chickens etc go through to land on our BBQ grill. Eating less meat and prioritizing a plant-based diet would in turn reduce the levels of methane and its deleterious effects on our fragile planet.

As I was preparing this blog entry in my head yesterday, I came across a card that seemed to have escaped a deck I really like called Sacred Mothers and Goddesses. I don't recall last time I had seen this card, it must have been months. But there it was, while I was unpacking other items, as a synchronicity that brought me immense joy just like when things seem to find me, rather than the other way around: Priestess of the Healing Waters.

Water is healing. It has been for me. I welcome the opportunity to jump in a cold pool just like I did at a friend's during winter solstice as a fun, cleansing ritual (cold water helps treat pain, chronic inflammation, and even depression, as it helps release a feeling-good, energizing substance called dopamine). Swimming is grounding. With floating comes a reminder of letting go and trusting the forces of life that are helping us move in the right direction. Water is my sons' friend because they play in it, exercise in it, or even work in it (my oldest son, Youri, is an enthusiastic instructor and lifeguard). Water (or its other form, snow) is a hyphen between my sons' pure spirit and mine, the stage where we had countless fun bonding moments (boogie boarding, kayaking, skiing...). Water takes us back in the womb, where we were once floating, preparing for our journey in the tangible world. Water is precious and should be used mindfully, consciously.

Mindfulness leads to a more sustainable living... If we have gotten to this catastrophic point with Mother Earth, it is because we let ego-dominated, patriarchal values (such as greed, competition, status, wealth, productivity, fame etc) dictate our lifestyles. By the way, wanting to dismantle patriarchy doesn't mean being against men. Sure, a patriarchal system is predominantly male, but probably because men have been conditioned to express toxic masculinities for many centuries. But our humanity is becoming more enlightened, more self-aware. In fact, I have encountered women who were more patriarchal and toxic than certain men, squandering resources, being oppressive etc, while I know many men who embody divine feminine qualities and care about the world. Being against patriarchy is being against a set of values that is destructive and seeks to conquer the fear or idea of death. But life and everything in it are impermanent. Having possessions or being in a position of power serve as a proxy for immortality, but of course, these are illusions, and sooner or later (better sooner than later), we have to let go, embrace the idea of mortality (which is not the opposite of life but rather an essential component of it) and then live to the fullest and evolve as people while we live each moment as if it were our last.

Going back to water, dancing with it, being grateful for it helps to shift those fear-based values and brings more of the feminine to rebalance the masculine. Mindfulness creates a space for compassion (for self, for others, and of course, for our ecosystems). And when we cultivate compassion, the risk of causing harm decreases. And if we do cause harm, we become more quickly aware of it and can take steps to repair. Being in the water also gives me a powerful sense of freedom. And freedom is the foundation for true happiness: freedom of thought, of feeling. Freedom to just BE.

I am thankful for the water that comes out cold, not immediately warm, in my shower. It teaches me patience and makes me travel in solidarity to these girls and women all around the world who, often with a baby tucked in a colorful piece of fabric in their back, carry the water, protect its promises for relieving thirst, burns, and for living. When I go in the ocean, I am humbled by the immensity of this life force, knowing that just like a drop of water that changes shape or evaporates, we are all impermanent. We come from la mère (the mother), a great metaphor for la mer (the sea) and once we have learned what we need to learn in this lifetime, once we "see", we go back to the water-mother, the sea of our collective soul.