Making room for the youth

It's about damn time. I watched Lizzo's video about that song for the first time a few months ago. I swear sometimes I walk around dancing like her when no one is watching. Just like when I was a teenager. Sooo refreshing. 

I love my home but not so much the gray cabinets that are in a total of six locations: the kitchen, three bathrooms, and the laundry room. I am not a fan of the areas carpeted with the color of cat vomit neither. Some of it leads to a downstairs area, probably a dream nook for teenagers in need of privacy.

Speaking of. We also need to make room for them in a more metaphysical way. We have a duty to energetically hold their hands when they need some discreet support during the pubertal and exploratory journey, to help them access and speak their voice, to let them leave the nest and watch them from a distance as they emancipate and make their own decisions and learn from mistakes.

As a mother of three teenage sons and a psychiatrist working with teenagers a few mornings per month, and as a proud survivor of adolescence, I believe it is about damn time for us to care about this sample of humanity that goes through a phase representing at least 10% of one's lifespan. It is about time that I, if not exorcise, at least deconstruct that dreadful part of my life... I guess it is now or never, since I just signed up for a support group called Meno-Power...

Adolescence is defined by the period comprised roughly between puberty and emerging adulthood, from 10 or 12 through 18 or even early twenties. When I hear the countless tragedies afflicting our teens (drug overdoses, bullying, eating disorders, sexual assault, suicide etc), and also distress stemming from not feeling like they fit in, I want to extend a hand to these wounded souls. I want the words of my own inglorious stories to validate them and break their sense of aloneness, while showing that overcoming this phase of their life is possible. That eventually, we can make it just fine to the other side of this dark forest...

One of my recent attempts at "cartooning" myself
(it turns out I kind of look like my 10-yo niece Monica)

This is why I launched a new blog on Valentine's Day last week: Let's Chat Animö with Carö. One of my favorite subjects (the human soul) also has relevance in that platform. Maybe more adults than teens read it so far, but it doesn't matter to me. It might be a window for parents, teachers or coaches to learn and give these evolving beings some confidence. What I care about is the outcome: finding an exit for the pressure to be, date, perform, succeed that has been building up.

I think we also need to guide our youth in self-protection against advertisement and all other forms of predation. We can empower them to redefine beauty, boundaries and understand the sacredness of our beings by carefully choosing who and what we let be near it (because our body is our temple).

With my writing, I am repositioning myself: as a person, as a woman, as a mother, as a partner, as a friend, as an aunt, as a daughter, as a healer, as a fellow human being. With my storytelling, I am transforming difficult experiences and seeing them under a different light. Just like in the book series by Rick Riordan that my sons used to be so fond of, Percy Jackson was labeled with ADHD or dyslexia in our tangible world, he was in fact gifted, a demi-god. If my own mythical survival narratives as a synnie help validate even one teenager and not take decades to understand their self-worth, my misery will not have been in vain.

This graduation picture was in fact a retake: I didn't like the first set of pictures, my acne was way worse. I also had a bad hair day. This one, although not perfect, was more acceptable to me. And I live even more today, as it strikes me that in those eyes, in this nose, and in this smile, I see my beloved firstborn son, Youri. I hope he becomes fond of this resemblance too, one day... 

I concluded that first blog by asking the reader what makes them feel alive ? What lights them up ? For me, using my creativity is part of my sanity-saving and self-development toolkit. And these days, I do that by turning my life into a giant coloring book. I never thought going to the bathroom was particularly exciting, but since I started adding more boldness to one of them, I find every opportunity to go take a pee(k). Not bad, for a 6-dollar sample of green "Wilderness" paint (plus brush, about 1,25 USD at the Dollar Tree) makeover: