Enoughland

Four jogging sessions per week, with a total of about 25 km, for the past 2 months or so. Sometimes after clinic, at the end of the afternoon if I wasn't able to go early in the morning because of work, which means in 40-degree weather sometimes. Insane. All the other days I walk. 10 to 12 thousand steps. And I do muscular training about twice a week, and also yoga, and laps in my pool. I seem to burn calories at the speed of light... I am constantly hungry ! I don't think I have ever been in such good shape in my life. I am even afraid to become addicted to the satisfaction from just glancing at more muscular definition than I ever had in my entire life.

I want to make sure I am on track in anticipation of my trail-running trip. I check with our guide. Ideally, I should increase the duration of one session per week, to build endurance, according to her.

And at work, I have been told more than once that my ''productivity is too low''. My ''numbers are not enough''. That ''billing for group therapy is not good''.

This is quite demoralizing, in fact. Interestingly enough, I am finally sitting down to write this weekly blog 3 days later than I would typically do... Because I have been busy trying to be more productive until now !

If we give that narrative too much value, it will win. In our capitalistic, highly competitive world, there will always be someone or an organization to judge our output, our productivity, our value. It's because there is an obsession with attaching a dollar amount to every job or task. Our society is designed in a way that we are programmed to always strive for more, regardless of the consequences of too much, if we aim too far... Being a workaholic or compulsive runner cuts us from self-awareness, and we do things rather robotically. Losing touch with our intentionality just for the sake of attaining an always moving target because the greedy capitalism is never satisfied creates the risk of making us go from not enough to too much. And what happens then ? Burnout. Depression. Cynicism. Exhaustion. Injury. Our souls and spirits become casualties. And then we are suddenly way less than enough. 

There are people who are actually celebrating my effort in life. So I try to focus on that. My patients who appreciate that I listen to their story and provide validation. My students and residents who feel grateful and safe enough to express their opinion as they develop their clinical acumen. My loved ones who are excited for me about my trail-running trip and who applaud my discipline and my other mini unpaid realizations on the side: my blogs, my academic publications, my column, my podcast, my YouTube channel.

Recent gathering where there was enough... food

That's productive, right ? All of that ?

And I also volunteer: I have been an editorial committee member at our medical society for almost 10 years. Productive. I will drop everything to help a beloved one, family or friend and listen to their distress. Again, productive. I am a host parent for a foreign exchange student. I meditate and even though I seem to be doing nothing, I gain some new insights. Yes, all of that, productive as well !

In our own lives. In the divine realm. We make progress. We are always productive.

Does the rose think it's not fragrant enough ?

Does the sky wonder if it's blue enough ?

Does the river feel like it is not flowing fast enough ?

Does the cat caring for her just born kittens worries that she is not breastfeeding enough ?

Of course not.

Beautiful bouquet offered by my friends, Andrés and Richard

So I decided...

That's ENOUGH ! I AM e-n-ou-gh !!!! I am a huge bouquet of enoughs...

For more examples of my definition of productivity, you can visit my YouTube channel, Dr G's Dandelion Monologues, and the video ''Another kind of productive'':