Letter to my first-born son

 

Cher Youri ,

Joyeux anniversaire ! I hope you found some fulfillment in all dimensions of your life this past year at UCD campus, and that you feel confident and serene as you continue to build your future. May your 19th birthday be a portal to more inner wisdom and expansion of your being. May your field of study give you the opportunity to understand the importance of direct connection with the natural world and all the life moments plus the felt, sensory experience that is tied to it, the necessity of seeing a situation in its totality to counteract tunnel vision and reductionism at the root of all the wars and injustices in our world, the permission to let go of all the limiting beliefs and labels, and the precious ally you can find in your intuition, this bridge to the deep, inner knowing and collective unconscious called wisdom. May you find a refuge in a practice that frees from the tyranny of perfection and that deepens your understanding of human consciousness, whether it is via playing a musical instrument, cooking, doing sports or having meaningful and affirming social connections. Moving our body through walking, running, swimming, dancing, yoga etc helps the mind unfold rather than leaving it wrinkled in the echo chamber of this illusion called certitude. All of these activities have certainly helped me broadening my perspective and even generating creative solutions ! You have so many abilities and talents to choose from. Our duty in this lifetime is to express those gifts and share them with the world to heal the planet and help humanity evolve.

I would like to offer you something. Do you need help moving into your new place ? Like I mentioned before, I have various items you could use, including a brand new set of dishes and glasses from IKEA. I also have a large TV screen and furniture if you want. The physical environment we evolve in, with all its beauties, people and also tools and objects are important. 

Our ecosystem does influence our energies. It is all quantum physics, you know !

If you ever have any needs or questions you wish to run by me, I am there to listen. And to respond with all the means I have. Understanding who you are includes knowing your parents and ancestors' history. Your maternal grandparents (grand-papa just turned 80 and Mamita will be 78 on May 23rd) still care about you. Within all the challenges, there is always some positives to extract, be inspired by, and expand on. I wish I could have shielded you from the dark forces of adversity. I am sorry if some of our interactions have caused you pain. This is the last thing I would want... Thankfully, the real strength of a bond doesn't come from the apparent (and often deceitful) harmony, but how the people navigate disagreement and repair the hurt. It is all about being authentic with one another, and this real bond starts with self-honesty. One of the many things I appreciate about you is your spiritedness, which makes you speak up and name the truth ! I believe in the authentic nature of our bond and our ability to transmute the difficulties. Relationships are teachers, and without mistakes there is no growth. Please know that I vow to continue to learn from our bumps in the road, to integrate the difficult emotions, and I am committed to share with you all the insights and inspiration you'd be open to receive. And above all, to learn from you ! Your brothers and you have been my best teachers, by far.

Meanwhile, I trust that you will figure out the puzzle of your life. You've got this. You are truly, naturally intelligent, which goes beyond the intellect or conceptual intelligence. If you need help in finding some missing pieces, please reach out. I am doing my own process by learning more about my ancestry to reposition myself on the trajectory of my life. It is so freeing ! I wish you joy, clarity and discernment: between your own dreams and the unresolved yearnings of those who came before you. None of the former generations' unfulfilled dreams or limiting beliefs are yours to carry. Reclaim your identity, your energies and creative power. I believe in you and always will.

I think of you every day. I miss you deeply. Our conversations, our laughter, our mutual teasing, our complicity, our creative projects, our exploring the world. But it is not about me. Children are meant to spread their wings and go on their own path. I want you to feel fulfilled, serene and thriving. And a mother's heart and embrace remain wide open. There will always be a special place for you in my life, my home, my travels, my heart. I am there, not far, always. You know how to reach me. Thank you for being born. I feel infinitely honored to be your mother. I am proud of you and all the potentialities you have, my beloved son. I am your biggest fan !

Wishing you a quintessential birthday

Je t'aime pour toujours

With profound fondness,

Maman
AKA Caroline Mariekya

P.S.: all the squirrels and their acorn party in my backyard make me think about you every day 

And I am such a big fan of you: to celebrate you and the fact that you made me a mother, this evening I am wearing a t-shirt and a pair of short you have outgrown a while ago ! :)